"Why Me?"

Sorry - today is a bit of a downer day. If using the common analogy of comparing life to a roller coaster, today I would equate the current status of things to going up to the top of the largest drop, and free falling. Right now, there is no incline to woosh me back up to the top to begin the ride again. Think the coyote chasing the road runner and running off the cliff, eminating in the "poof" as you lose sight of him as he falls.

I wrote the below post back in June after another "what else could go wrong mode"....

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Why me? I often ask myself this question. Why was I chosen to raise this child from the complete other side of the world? He could of easily been placed with a different family, in a different part of the United States, or in a completely different country altogether.

So again, why me? I am in no way a great parent. I have no patience, get easily agitated, am not very affectionate, don’t do well on no sleep, etc.

His adoption process was fast. So fast. Unusually fast. Why for me?
He is “different”. I see it. People who are close to him see it. People who are around him on a regular basis see it. He is “different”. Maybe he is destined for greater things. Maybe his life is already planned out and he is to do something very important.

He is “different”. I think his birth mother knew it too. She knew she could not raise him and help him become the person he should become. She made a noble sacrifice for him. She named him. She chose “World Shine”. Perhaps she knew he was destined for something great. Something that will change things in the future. Something that will pull us out of darkness.

So back to the original question: Why me?

Maybe as the fates planned his future they knew there would be obstacles. Obstacles that if not overcome, would stop him from doing what he is supposed to do.

Maybe that’s why it is me. I have great intensity. I see inequality. I see injustice. I will fight to the very end with everything I have to make sure that common sense and “the right thing to do” prevail.

Perhaps Karma, Destiny, Fate, the Universe, God or whatever driving force may be out there that people believe in , put me in this path long ago, and provided me with the tools, the knowledge, the education and the experience to do what is right.

It may not be coincidence, or luck, or decisions I have made in the past that have shaped where I am now. Other plans may be in the works that are out of my control. I guess I just have to look at the forks in the road. I have to listen to people who have been put in my path. I have to look at the bigger picture. I have to do what is right.

So again. Why me?

He is “different”. Maybe he is supposed to be the one who is going to cure cancer, the disease that afflicted me at a young age. Maybe he is going to be a figure head that will bring harmony. Maybe he will be a role model. Maybe he is just going to be an important part in someone’s else’s life.

Maybe he is “The one who will bring balance to the force”, “The one to bring down the Matrix”, “The one lead the resistance against the machines”, “The one who will throw the ring in the fire”.

So again. Why me?

Maybe it’s because I have too much time on my hands to recite story lines from movies. Maybe because I am driven. Maybe it is because it is what I am supposed to do…..

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Well, there ya go....
 
Going to go play some WoW now....